Dedicated to maintaining the history and life of the cavalry

Journal Entries

Of Linvill Darby

May 3, 1861 my home is a small Plantation between Waynesboro and Staunton , Virginia .  I am only 15 but I have to work like a full grown man.  I am the man of the house.  My father is somewhere in Texas riding with the United States Mounted Rifles.  It has been 3 years since I have seen him.  A young man grows up fast when he is forced to take over a Plantation .  It is just me and my younger brothers that do the work around here.  My mother takes care of the house and my sisters.  

November 10, 1861 my brothers and I were working in the field next to the house today when a single rider was seen galloping down the road coming to our house.  I told my brothers to keep plowing and I would be back in a little while.  When I got to the house, I saw a soldier walking toward the door.  I yelled to the soldier.  The soldier was here to tell us that our Father had gotten cholera and died.  The soldier brought my fathers belongings.  My mother rang the dinner bell to call in my brothers.  We looked in the bag that the soldier had brought.  There was a journal, his uniform, and two pistols. 

November 22, 1862 my 16^th birthday, the yanks are advancing into the southern states, killing anyone who opposes them.   My brother Christ and I went to enlist, my brother in the 53^rd Virginia Infantry, me in the 14^th Virginia cavalry company G.  My brother and I both had to lie about our age.  We put the number 18 in the bottom of our shoes.  When we were asked our age we just told them we were over 18.  It is still lying but it made us feel not as guilty.  Christ and I decided we have to do anything we can to protect our land and our families.  I brought the two pistols that had belonged to my father.  I don’t want to have to kill anyone, but I suppose in war you have to kill or be killed. 

            December 24, 1862, tomorrow is our first attack.  I don’t feel ready.  I feel as if I were pushed through training too quickly.  It was just a month ago I enlisted, and here I am getting ready to charge the Yanks.  I haven’t seen my brother since we enlisted.  I hear that his unit has been in a few engagements.  Hopefully he is ok.  Well that’s enough for tonight, I need to rest.  Not that I will sleep.  I need to say my prayers.  My unit and I will need all the help we can.

December 25, 1862, well I survived the first day of battle, though many of the men in my unit did not.  War is crazy.  It is not like anything I have ever seen.  I watched helplessly, as a man bled to death.  I could not do anything to help.  Tomorrow brings another day of battle.  Another day I may not make it through.  It has only been one day and already I wonder if all this is worth it.  God help us all.

March 3, 1863; well here I am still riding with the 14^th.  For the last 3 months we have been driving those damn yanks right back to their homes.  Lost a lot of good men, but there are still a lot of good men still fighting this war.  There is word; this war will be over by June.  I hope that’s true. I look forward to seeing my family.  Still haven’t seen my brother.  I wonder if he has survived this bloody mess.  That’s all for now.  God help us all.

            May 5, 1864, I heard that our last stronghold on the Mississippi was lost and now we are split in half.  Things aren’t good.  Our supply lines have been cut.  We have had to go from house to house and beg for food.  I haven’t had a meal in about two weeks.  I have just managed to find scraps of food every now and then.  I have come down with some kind of illness.  The only thing good about it is that i'm not hungry.  I don’t know how any body could be hungry with this sickness.  That’s all for now, I need to rest.  God help us all.

            May 7, 1864, this will be my last entry.  The field surgeon told me to get right with the lord, because the end is near.  I can’t eat or drink anything because it just makes me sick.  I hope that this journal can make it back to my mother.  I want her to know what happened to me.  If my brother is still alive I hope he is healthy.  I hope that I make it to heaven, I wonder if I will, after some of the things I have done in the past months.  God have mercy on my soul.